Mindfulness: How to Be Present Without Moving to a Cave or Deleting Your Apps

Mindfulness: How to Be Present Without Moving to a Cave or Deleting Your Apps

Mindfulness has a PR problem.

Somewhere along the way, it got wrapped in incense, whispered affirmations, and the pressure to “clear your mind” which is adorable advice for people who don’t have brains that behave like caffeinated squirrels.

Mindfulness is not about becoming calm all the time.
It’s about becoming aware more often.

You don’t need silence.
You don’t need enlightenment.
You don’t even need to sit cross-legged unless your hips are feeling cooperative that day.

You just need attention. The kind you already give to your phone.

Let’s talk about practical mindfulness techniques that work in real life.

Stress Less (Without Losing Your Mind): A Funny Guide for Men Who’ve Had Enough

Stress Less (Without Losing Your Mind): A Funny Guide for Men Who’ve Had Enough

Stress. We all have it. Work deadlines, bills, emails that should’ve stayed in 2007… it piles up, and suddenly you feel like your brain is on fire while your body wants a nap it’ll never get. The good news? Stress is manageable. You can calm your body, improve your mood, and even feel energized again—all without turning into a meditation hermit or drinking kale smoothies you secretly hate.

Sixty Days of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) at Holland Pathways

Sixty Days of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) at Holland Pathways

I didn’t enter a 60-day Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) program with a triumphant attitude. I entered it the way you enter a dentist’s office after years of avoidance: tense, suspicious, and hoping no one would ask too many follow-up questions.

I wasn’t just there for drugs and alcohol. I was there because my nervous system had been living in a state of “something bad is about to happen” for most of my life. Domestic violence had taught my body that love could turn fast. Rape had taught it that safety was optional. Substances had stepped in like an unlicensed contractor and said, I can fix this.

Spoiler: They could not.

They numbed things, sure. They also made my life smaller, blurrier, and way more exhausting.

Abs, Apps, and the Trap of Gay Social Media: Escaping the Mirror Maze

Abs, Apps, and the Trap of Gay Social Media: Escaping the Mirror Maze

Picture this: You open Instagram for “just a minute,” and three hours later, you’re knee-deep in a shirtless spiral, staring at an endless grid of men who look like they’ve been carved by Zeus, spray-tanned by Apollo, and Photoshopped by Beyoncé’s lighting team.

Meanwhile, you’re still in yesterday’s sweatpants, eating peanut butter straight from the jar. With a spoon. (If you used a fork, we need to talk.)

Welcome to the paradox of being a gay man online: in real life, we know beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. But on social media? Apparently, it only comes in “under 8% body fat.”

I Came Out at 42—After Years of Being Married to a Woman. Here’s the Wild, Liberating, Awkward Truth. (A Fictional Story Based on Working with Clients Over the Years)

I Came Out at 42—After Years of Being Married to a Woman. Here’s the Wild, Liberating, Awkward Truth. (A Fictional Story Based on Working with Clients Over the Years)

This is a fictional story based on the experiences of several clients over the years, with the hope of empowering those who have not yet come out.

Let’s start with this: I was 42, married, living in the suburbs, mowing my lawn every Saturday, and somehow still pretending I was into fantasy football when in reality, the only fantasy I had was about the guy who delivered our Amazon packages. In shorts. In July.

And that’s when I knew. Or rather, that’s when I finally stopped lying to myself.

From Club Kid to Clarity: When the Party Stops and You Start Rediscovering Yourself

From Club Kid to Clarity: When the Party Stops and You Start Rediscovering Yourself

At some point—maybe after one too many vodka sodas, or waking up next to a guy whose name you definitely don’t remember—you start to feel it: the party doesn’t hit like it used to.

Not because the music got worse (though, let’s be honest, we’re still playing “Rain On Me”), but because you’re changing. And stud, that’s not a crisis—it’s growth.

How to Look Younger Without Losing Your Mind (or Your Dignity)

How to Look Younger Without Losing Your Mind (or Your Dignity)

A chill, guy-to-guy guide to staying youthful, inside and out.

Let’s be honest—most of us wouldn’t mind looking like we just stepped off the set of a Calvin Klein shoot… even if our knees pop every time we bend over. The good news? You don’t need to chase your 20s or inject anything illegal into your face in a hotel bathroom.

Looking youthful isn’t about trying to stay young forever. It’s about feeling good, looking sharp, and aging like a man who knows what he’s doing.

Here are some easy, no-BS tips for staying fresh, energized, and just the right amount of hot as you get older.

"So You Wanna Bottom, Huh?" – 7 Tips for Your First Time Riding the Rollercoaster

"So You Wanna Bottom, Huh?" – 7 Tips for Your First Time Riding the Rollercoaster

Ah, bottoming. The final frontier. The backdoor ballet. The thing you've seen in all your favorite spicy videos and thought, "I could do that… right?"

First of all—YES, you absolutely can. But like baking a soufflé or wearing white to a wedding you weren’t invited to, it takes preparation, confidence, and a splash of bravery (and lube).

Whether you’re finally ready to surrender to the peachy powers of pleasure or your top has the patience of a saint (God bless him), here are 7 no-nonsense, all-facts-no-friction tips for bottoming like a boss—especially if it’s your first time.